You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
