I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
I would ride that face into the sunset
Randomize
