we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
