i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Randomize
