There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize
