Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize
