i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Randomize
