god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
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