whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Randomize
