That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
We left the knife in your bed.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
Randomize
