whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
