So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Randomize
