Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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