areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
