I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
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