it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Randomize