Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I think I just sharted jello shots
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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