your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
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