when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
Randomize
