make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
