I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
Did I show you my penis last night?
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
