I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
Randomize
