Whod you bang
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
