Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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