I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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