come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Randomize
