I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
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