i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize