she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
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