Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Randomize
