needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Randomize
