I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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