in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
