I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
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