lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
you are never too drunk for berry picking
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
Everyone says I win the strip club
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
Randomize
