So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
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