? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
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