Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
Randomize
