Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
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