My girlfriend figured out who you are.
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
Randomize
