my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
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