is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
