Got a toothbrush?
I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
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