Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
Randomize
