I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
