She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Randomize
