dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
one two three fourrrrnication!
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
Randomize
