Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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