yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
We left the knife in your bed.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
Randomize
