Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Randomize
