If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
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