Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
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