It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
