Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
