Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
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