so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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