What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Is it because I queefed?
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
Randomize
