she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
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