you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
