what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Randomize
