Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
bring money and cleavage
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
Randomize