maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
Randomize
