is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
Randomize
