I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
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