Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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