I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
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