it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
Randomize
