we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
Randomize